On The Advice of Friends and Family
by Arraydesign
Summary: Josh deals with his relationship... sort of...


Title: On the Advice of Friends and Family 1/1

Summary: Josh deals with the world and his relationship… sort of.

Disclaimers: Not mine. Not at all.

Feedback: please

A/N- I keep trying to write something else…but it's being crowded out.

Post Ep: Well almost any…depending on when you think they got together… in my world this is sometime after Requiem.

**On the Advice of Friends and Family**

So what is with this? Every time one of my friends hears about Donna and me they say something like. 'Congratulations… way to go…. don't you hurt her.' Like I would!! I mean, this is Donna for God's sake!

Charlie for example. I kid you not, here's the conversation. We're sort of passing in the hall and he stops me.

"Hey Josh… about you and Donna, I mean that's great you know.."

"Yeah, well, ah, thanks…I ah"

"It's okay man…" and I think he's done so I start to move on, when he says, "and Josh..."

"Yeah?"

"You know if you hurt her I'll come after you… right?"

"Charlie! What the?"

"No I mean it. I still know some of the guys…"

And he leaves… with me standing there doing one of my best Gail impressions.

And Sam... Sam thinks this has been going on for quite some time, and I'm not about to disabuse him, but he still feels the need to say, "and Josh.. you know the way I feel about both you and Donna… you're like my family."

"Yeah, Sam. You're my family too."

"Don't wreck it Josh..."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You know how you are."

"No. How am I?"

"You're... you know... you're Josh… you're difficult. High maintenance"

"I'm what?"

"But Donna.. she's special.."

What the…? Like I don't know? Like I haven't spent nine years knowing? I look him right in the eye.

"I know Sam."

"I'm just sayin' is all."

"I know Sam."

"Don't screw up Josh." Well there's useful advice. "Did you talk to Toby?"

"No, I did not talk to Toby. I don't need to talk to Toby. I'm pretty sure I can have both side of that mazel tov and baseball bat conversation all by myself!"

"Okay then"

And C.J. Another country heard from. She phones me.

"Joshua!"

"Hey C.J."

"I see in the gossip column the incoming Chief of Staff is dating his former assistant "

"What? Where did you see that?" I hate it when my voice goes up like that.

"Relax Frat Boy, Donna told me."

"Oh… okay… um … was there something you wanted C.J.?"

"Yeah, I wanted to say 'It's about time', and then I wanted to pick you up by the scruff of your neck and shake you until your ears ring and say 'Don't screw this up Josh!'

"C.J.!" Oh my god! Even **I** can hear the whine in my voice.

"I'm serious Joshua… this is Donna.."

Like I don't know that!

"You can't fool around with this. You're only going to get one shot… don't mess it up…"

"C.J... when have I ever…"

"Don't make me start listing them…"

"Seriously C.J."

"Seriously Joshua…She's the best thing that ever happened to you. Don't hurt her." And she hangs up. And the next time she calls me she's all twisted about this phone call the President Elect has made, and big sister advice time is over. Instead I've got my mother on line two... Well not literally. She calls my cell… in the evening… when Donna's there.

"Josh?"

"Hi mom."

"How're you doing? "

"I'm good."

"How's Donna?"

"I think she's fine ma." Well, I'm looking right at her, but I'm not about to tell my mother that…It's 11:00 o'clock at night for God's sake.

"Let me talk to her."

What the !!???

"Want makes you think she's here ma?"

"I watched the election coverage Joshua... I'm not an idiot…"

I'm frantically scrolling though my behavior, or rather our behavior, on election day… Well what? There no way she saw any of that! Or that…. What the hell! What did she see?..."

"Josh… are you still there?"

"Ah …yeah mom. "

"Josh. You be careful."

"What?"

"She's a nice girl Josh. I like her."

"Yeah. Me too, Mom"

"So play nice."

"What it that supposed to mean, Mom?"

"Be the man I know you are, Josh."

She makes me feel like I'm thirteen, and I'm dressing for my bar mitzvah.

"I'll try Ma."

"Josh… Donna's a good girl. Don't you dare break her heart."

That's my mother. She thinks I'm some kind of Lothario. The only thing is… she really likes Donna. Maybe more than she likes me, when I get right down to it.

"Mom.. I have no intention.."

"Well you should have."

I can't believe this! No wait… this is my mother… of course I believe this.

"What do you mean Mom?"

"I mean you. And Donna. You should have intentions."

I'm rolling my eyes now. I'm all of eight years old by this point. Like she's telling me to invite Becky Edelstein to my birthday party.

So I pass the phone over to Donna.

"Hi Judith!" she says, all chirpy, like she's talking to one of her girlfriends

My head snaps around. When did she start calling my mother Judith?

"Yes… I know…" She's giggling. "Well… no…I'm not going to tell you that…."

My eyes are bugging out like some kind of cartoon character, I know. This is bad on so many levels. I try walking away, so I can't hear her, but whatever they're actually saying I'm sure I'll imagine worse. I try to get out of earshot but I can't. First, because my apartment's not that big really, and second… well because I can't… All I can focus on is Donna.

" Oh, yeah.. me too."

Me too what?! I'm going crazy here!

"No, we'll be fine…. I'm sorry you weren't here… don't worry… I will.."

I walk back out to the kitchen and pretend to look in the fridge. There's nothing I want in there…What I want is in the living room… talking to my Mother… about me… for God's sake.

"Oh thanks Judith.. that is so sweet…" I hear. Really. I'm starting to grind my teeth now.

"Donna!" I yell.

"I'm still on the phone Josh! Keep your pants on!" She calls back.

Oh no. She didn't really just say that did she? With my mother on the other end of the line? I close the fridge door and lean against it. When I hear her laughing again I slide my back down the fridge until I'm sitting on the floor with my head on my knees. Waiting, really for the coup de grace to put me out of my misery.

I hear her come in to the kitchen, and crouch down in front of me. I feel her hand, cool on the back of my neck. When I look up she's smiling, and her eyes are so blue it makes me dizzy. "Your mom says good night. And she sends you this," and she kisses me very gently on the forehead, "and she said I could do this," and she leans in and kisses me on the mouth. And she tastes…

Oh.

So.

Sweet.

And I could stay like this forever.

I can't stand it when my mother is right.


End file.
